


Crocker - 1, Strider - 0

by muppetcrayz



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M, Hand Jobs, Making Out, Oops, Porn, this isn't as sexual as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muppetcrayz/pseuds/muppetcrayz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk has a girlfriend.<br/>He is not sure if he likes this girlfriend.<br/>But she is touching his dick, which he likes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crocker - 1, Strider - 0

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tumblr user shotacronus](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tumblr+user+shotacronus).



> For tumblr user shotacronus, for her birthday, which was in October. Oops. I don't like this ship but I'm a good friend.  
> Cross-posted at tumblr here: http://shota-john.tumblr.com/post/38483520117/

Your name's Dirk Strider, and for some reason you have a girlfriend? Honestly, you always thought she'd go for Roxy, but Jake turned you down, and, sigh, you were available.

GG: Hello, Dirk!  
TT: Yo, Crocker.  
GG: So, I have a bit of an issue, and I think I need to speak with you about it!  
TT: Alright, shoot.  
GG:Well, the kersnuffle at hand is that I've got a bit of a crush on you. And wondered if, perhaps, you'd like to do something about that.  
TT: Gee willikers, Crocker. I mean, sure, I guess.  
GG: Oh wow!  
This isn't what you want?!?!!? It's close... ish? You guess? And now she's coming over and she's probably gonna kiss you or something oh fuckin no.  
\--  
She's been here for half an hour and no one has kissed? But she _is_ apparently your girlfriend, so... you kinda, lean over and kiss her?? Yeah.

She looks surprised and then omgwtfbbq Jane pulls you down and kisses you like you've never been kissed before. And, to be honest, you've never been kissed before. Sure, you peppered little kisses along Jake's neck when you met, but it only took him an hour of you being Way Too Fucking Forward to tell you that he didn't like guys.  
But he _appreciated the thought._  
You manage to pull yourself out of melancholia to realize that Jane seems to have her tongue in your mouth and her hand up your shirt. You're sporting an inconvenient boner and has Jane ever seen a dick because yours is pretty great and she does not seem like the kind of chick to watch porn?

ALRIGHT WHAT she has her hand ON YOUR DIIICKKKKK AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!  
"Wh-whoa Jane..." You bite your lip and she smirks.  
"Are you alright? Gosh, Dirk, it's just a hand!" She slides her fucking hand into your pants and holy shit her hand is really soft and that fucker's not even doing anything she's just keeping it there.  
"Q-quit teasing me." You're absolutely ashamed that you're stuttering, but Jesus. She's so mean.  
"What would you prefer instead? Nothing at all?"  
no what no?!!!!!! "You actually getting it out of there because this boner hurts like a motherfucker?"  
She smirks again and slips her hand out and for a second you think she's gonna leave you blue but, whoa, she unzips your jeans and you're out of them in ten.  
Her lack of surprise at the size of your dick is annoying. She just kind of sits there and starts jerking you off without mentioning the GIANT DICK.  
"J-jesus Christ, Jane." She giggles, jeez she's pretty, and kisses you again, opening her mouth against yours and *where* did she get so good at making out?  
You're too fucking awkward for this, and just kiss her back, nipping at her lips because the internet said that felt good.  
She must like it, cause the hand on your dick stops and she lets out a gasp into your mouth.  
Crocker - 0, Strider - 1.  
Okay, maybe not.  
Crocker - 1, Strider - 1.


End file.
